Letter from the Edge
by CEO Shaft
Summary: Ginny Weasley returns from the final battle a battered and broken woman. A letter from Harry Potter, written before he left for the fight, awaits on her nightstand for her return


**Disclaimer: ** I do not own anything Harry Potter, so please don't think I do. 

**Author's note:** Doris and Jenn, I couldn't have been able to write this without your help, input and editing. Also, I just want everyone to know that I have a great girlfriend. She understands (at least I think she does) that, while I can't always say things, I do feel them. Thank you Kate, for being there when I need it. Even if I don't realize I need it.   
  
Ginny Weasley entered the Gryffindor common room battered, bruised and bloody. Blood stained her school robes from the nasty cut which was previously on her wand arm. Though the gash had been healed by a mediwitch, Ginny would always carry a scar on her forearm to remind her of the cutting curse that had slipped through her defenses.   
  
The bone-weary young woman stumbled up the stairs to her dorm room to change. Well past midnight then, she had been up since dawn and was beyond tired. She still couldn't believe all that had happened in the course of the day. _The war is over!_ Her mind cried out with uncontrollable joy. More than that, her family had survived it all. She still couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that all of the Weasleys had escaped the battle alive. In fact, to everyone's surprise, her injury was the only one her family had sustained. Hermione, Remus, Tonks, Fleur… everyone was alright.   
  
Even in her exhausted state, these thoughts added a spring to Ginny's steps and the sluggishness she had been feeling earlier disappeared. She had lost some friends in the battle - there was no one who hadn't lost someone - and it would take a long time to get over seeing some of her fellow classmates dying on the battlefield. If she were honest with herself, Ginny knew she would never get over seeing Colin shove his brother out of the way of the killing curse only to take the curse himself. Nor did she think the memory of Professor Vector getting blown apart by an explosion hex would ever leave her. She had tried to prepare herself mentally for the horrors of war, but no one can truly prepare for death and destruction on a global scale.   
  
Shaking off the negative thoughts as best she could, she focused on the one thought that kept her relatively sane at the moment. Her family had survived the battle!   
  
As quietly as she could, Ginny opened the door to the room she shared with all of the other sixth-year Gryffindor girls. Not that she would not have awoken any of her roommates if she had set off her brothers' "cannon-in-a-can" fireworks right next to their ears. Each of the students who were involved in the battle was given dreamless sleeping draughts so each could get some much needed rest. Ginny had yet to take hers as she was in the hospital wing when the professors had given them out. Gathering her things quickly, Ginny headed to the shower to get cleaned up before bed. As soon as she stepped into the shower, her mind flashed back to the battle earlier in the day and the destruction it wrought on the grounds outside of the protective wards of Hogwarts. The horrors of battle surrounded her, yet all she saw was Harry. In the pouring rain, Harry had charged into the battle head on, running right up to Tom Riddle. Daring Tom to strike him down, Harry kept getting closer and closer. Knocking over the Death Eaters forming a protective barrier around their master, Harry reduced the distance between himself and the dark lord at an alarming rate. Stunned, both sides turned toward the two as Harry reached out and grabbed the hem on the robes of the reptilian creature. Lightning lanced through the air and momentarily blinded the combatants. When the spots cleared, the rain had stopped and the ground, where moments before two men had stood, was smoldering from the lightening strike.   
  
For a few moments, everyone looked around, unsure of what to do. Each side had lost its champion and uncertainty rushed through the ranks. Predictably, a voice rang out over the silence. One spell had been cast while another was broken. With that spell, Lucius Malfoy snapped the shock and unease of the previous few minutes and the final battle began anew. Ginny shuddered as the twelve-hour battle replayed itself in her mind. Hundreds and hundreds of bodies fell never to move again. The ground of the battlefield had been tinted crimson from the blood of the fallen corpses.   
  
At first, the dark forces had the advantage, killing many within the first few hours. The turning point in the struggle had come from Colin's death. With his sacrifice born out of love for his brother, he had reminded those on the side of Dumbledore what they were trying to save. Gradually, news of Colin's Gryffindor bravery reached all of his comrades. The Death Eaters and creatures of the night had no thoughts other than of personal gain and could not understand sacrificing themselves so another could live. As a result, they could not win against a group of people willing to die for their beliefs and the battle turned against the Death Eaters. After Colin had died, the dark had lost. The loss, however, didn't stop them from taking as many of their enemies with them as they could. When it was clear that they were losing, the Death Eaters started using vampires and other creatures as walking bombs. When a creature was close enough to the Order's lines, a Death Eater would cast a sun charm and the vampire would explode, taking many Order members with it.   
  
Gradually, the memories and tears that accompanied them stopped and Ginny got out of the shower. After drying herself off and getting changed, Ginny returned to her dorm. She put her stuff away, and swept her eyes over her belongings, stopping on the top of her night stand. Her eyes landed on the single white rose lying on top of what looked like a letter. Curious, Ginny walked closer to see what it was. She picked up the rose and stared at the envelope. A fresh wave of tears overwhelmed her as she saw the handwriting on the envelope. The front of it read simply: "Ginny Weasley."   
  
She knew that handwriting anywhere, Harry had sent her the letter. She still couldn't believe that he had disappeared. She was so sure that he would make it through the final confrontation, even when he tried to tell her differently.   
  
Holding the letter in her hands, she shakily left her dorm room. She needed to be alone, and even sleeping roommates were too much to bear at that moment. All thought of sleep before she read Harry's final letter left her mind. Ginny walked over to her favorite spot in the common room and wearily fell upon the couch right in front of the fireplace. Not entirely sure how much more tragedy she could take before she lost her mind completely, Ginny briefly considered not reading the letter. It occurred to her that she was being irrational, but a small part of her mind clung to the thought that if she didn't read the letter, then her best friend would not be dead. Her hand holding the letter shot out and she barely stopped herself from throwing the letter into the dying fire. With tears in her eyes and hands trembling, she opened what very well could have been the last letter from Harry that she would ever receive.   
  
The contents of the letter where not what she had expected, Ginny had been almost positive that Harry would have told her that she should stay in the castle and not help with the fight. She was certain that he would reprimand her for putting herself in danger. She had been expecting a short note stating simply that she should "stay put." As she read the letter, however, it became clear that Harry had once again had different ideas. What Harry had written, for him at least, was a dissertation. Harry's messy handwriting continued on inch-after-inch of parchment.   
  
Her eyes blurred as she stared at the familiar red ink that Harry always used when he wrote her. She had once asked him why he used that color to write her, he had replied that it reminded him of her hair. She shook her head to clear both her thoughts and her vision, only partially succeeding, and began to read.   
  
_** My dearest Ginny,   
  
I know that I am not the most open person in the world, but I wanted to set some things right. In case I fail in my task, I wanted to make sure you knew. I have very little time before Tom arrives, but if I don't tell you now I fear I never will. Ever since Sirius died, there has been one person who was there for me no matter what the time. I have had an opportunity that few others have had. There was one person willing to help who understood me better then I understood myself.   
  
Ginny, I don't know how you did it, but every time I needed you, you were there knowing exactly what to do to make me feel better. Whether it was to push me out of my self-imposed shell or gently coaxing me to talk, you knew what needed to be done to or for me. You have been the perfect friend to me since my fifth year, and I will never be able to thank you enough for your friendship. I can't count the number of times you comforted me when the stress of being "The-Boy-Who-Lived" became just too much. Just by being around you, I was able to regain some of my sanity and continue to live day to day. **_  
  
Ginny was stunned. For the first time in his life, it seemed Harry was being completely honest with someone. She wasn't sure if that thought excited her or frightened her. Why would he spend the last hours before the battle writing to her? Why her? Why tiny, insignificant her?   
  
Did he know that he wasn't going to make it out of the battle alive? He seemed desperate for her to understand what she had done for him. She hadn't done anything special. All she had tried to do was be there for him and knock some sense into him when he needed it. She just acted like herself - like she wished someone would have after her first year. She certainly wasn't very comfortable being admired for it.   
  
If anything, she should be thanking Harry for all of the time he spent with her making sure she could defend herself. Without his help, she would never have gotten over being possessed by Tom (by unspoken agreement, neither of them called him anything but his muggle name); nor would she have made it through the fight today.   
  
Sighing, she silently wondered if she would ever get the chance to repay him for all he had done for her. Dreading what was to come, yet at the same time knowing she had to discover what Harry had thought was so important that he needed to write it in the little time he had, Ginny continued to read the letter.   
  
_** I love Ron and Hermione dearly and their friendship has meant more to me than almost anything in the entire world. Each of them has helped make me into the person that I am today. Ron is so impulsive; he speaks and acts without thinking and does everything that I have never been able to allow myself to do. In many ways, he has made it easier for me to have a little bit of fun.   
  
Your brother was my first true friend (Hagrid was something else. I don't know what, but he was 'different' from a friend), and he has always watched my back. I have put him in danger many times with my "hero complex" and yet he still stands by me… looks out for me. I don't think that I will ever be able to tell him what that means to me.   
  
I love Hermione like the sister I never had. She looks out for me in her own way - making sure I know every last minute detail of what I am going to face. Without her, I would not have made it through some of the things I have faced. She harps on me to get my work done and I know that I would not have done as well in school if she hadn't been there checking my work and forcing to do my best.   
  
Each of them is very important to me, but I would gladly throw their friendships away like three-day-old garbage if it were the only way that I could keep yours. You are the only person that I am certain can get me out of one of my moods. You know exactly what to say to me.   
  
I still can't believe I have been as open as I have with you.   
**_**   
  
It was true. Ron and Hermione did have a profound influence on Harry's life. Although they were carefully hidden under his stoic manner, Ginny could see traces of her brother in Harry's personality. The subtle existence was only visible to those who knew both very well, but it was unmistakable. Sometimes, like Christmas morning or during Quidditch, it was impossible to tell her brother and best friend apart. There was something amazing about watching them act like little kids when they were excited.   
  
Harry certainly had been influenced by Hermione as well. Over the past two years, he had more than once fallen asleep while working on homework. Also, it wasn't uncommon to find him in the library meticulously pouring over various tomes from all subjects. It was obvious that Harry cared for Ron and Hermione deeply, and that is why he had brought a fresh wave of tears when Ginny read that she was more important to him than either of them.   
  
Silently, her tears slowly spilled over her eyelids and down her cheeks as she continued.   
  
__**** It isn't like Ron and Hermione didn't try to get me to open up and discuss the problems that I have had to endure. Merlin knows, they were always trying to get me to talk about things. However, I never could bring myself to let them in completely. I know I wasn't very good at hiding my emotions from them. Hermione always knew when things were too much for me, and even your brother could tell most of the time. I just couldn't bring myself to open up to them though. I tried, you wouldn't believe how much I wanted to let it out and talk the pain away. However, every time I tried to open my mouth, nothing happened. So, eventually I just stopped trying. I know it hurt them to be pushed away like that, but I couldn't talk to them.   
  
So, by my fifth year, I didn't bother trying to talk to anyone. I pushed anyone away who tried to get close. It hurt me to be alone like that, but I couldn't bear the guilt of someone else getting injured because of me. You never let me push you away, though. Every time I shoved you, you would push me back just as hard. I couldn't believe that you continued to fight me when I was being a prat to you. Slowly, patiently (and sometimes not so patiently), you shattered every wall I built around myself.   
  
** _It hadn't been an easy process,_ Ginny thought dryly. She had laid the groundwork over two years ago, but it had taken a long time to break his protective walls. The years of physical and mental abuse at the hands of his uncle had forced Harry to internalize every emotion he had ever felt. By his fifth year, with the loss of Sirius, it physically hurt him to talk about his feelings. The first few times he and Ginny had discussed anything, he actually became ill. So, Ginny took a different approach. Instead of trying him to relieve his emotions, she guided him through her emotions. It was uncomfortable for her to be open with him, but it worked. Gradually, he understood how to express himself to her. He never told anyone else any of the things he told Ginny, but now at least, he told someone.   
  
_** Gradually, I found myself seeking you out all of the time. I am sure you noticed a change in me when it happened. In fact, I am pretty sure that you commented on it. I believe it was something to the effect of, "I will never get another moment's peace. Will I, Potter?" You tried to sound stern, but I could see the sparkle in your eyes and I knew you didn't mind.   
  
Suddenly, my day wasn't complete if I didn't spend a large portion of it with you. Every moment I spent with you was a moment I was free from the pressures of the world. I was able to just enjoy life and relax a bit. One morning during sixth year, I woke up and realized something that I think I knew for a long time - in every sense of the word, you are my best friend.   
  
I don't know how to describe it, other than to say it is surreal. Somehow I know, absolutely without-a-doubt know, you are the only person with whom I could share myself, all of myself. I have told you my darkest fears and my deepest desires because I am certain you will protect them. **_   
  
Ginny smiled as she thought of all of the time she and Harry had spent together in the past year. It was like suddenly he couldn't get enough of her. Not that she minded one bit, as he was just as much of a confidant to her as she was to him. And he was right, being around him relaxed her as well. She knew all too well the contentment she felt after talking with him.   
  
On Christmas Eve of her fifth year, she and Harry had stayed up all night talking. It was a very hard time for him. It was his first Christmas without Sirius. That night, she and Harry had talked about their fears about the war and of life in general. At that moment, she realized that Harry had transformed from a boy that she couldn't speak in front of without stammering to her best friend in the entire world.   
  
After that night, neither of them was without the other outside of class. They each spent their entire day waiting to see each other again. One night, after a month of constant companionship, Hermione had cornered her. She wanted to talk about Harry. Ginny wasn't really listening as Hermione was just complaining that Harry wouldn't talk with her anymore.   
  
Suddenly, something clicked in Hermione's mind, and she stared at Ginny. "He talks to you, doesn't he? That is why you and he are always off on your own at night, isn't it?"   
  
There was nothing that Ginny could do other than nod. Hermione had been livid that Harry wouldn't talk to her about his problems. She had been trying for years to show him that he was loved. It took her years to even begin to convince him that he wasn't by himself that he didn't need to bottle everything inside. However, he never let her in and it had hurt Hermione deeply that he had chosen Ginny over her. Eventually, Hermione accepted that Ginny wouldn't tell her anything that Harry had said and was happy that he was talking to someone about his problems.   
  
Ginny wasn't sure if she could handle the rest of what Harry had written to her, but she knew there was no turning back now. Lowering her eyes to the page, she began to read again.   
  
_** I realized something when I felt Tom and his death eaters preparing to force the final battle between us, something that has helped me face what could be my last hours. Sitting in our favorite spot - that couch in front of the slowly dying fire - I saw you.   
  
Yet again, I sought you out when I was close to the edge, and yet again you calmed me. I was once again wallowing in self-pity and a vision of you just popped into my head. As I saw you laughing and joking around in the flickering flames, it hit me. I suddenly understood.   
  
Through you, I have found something to live for; but, in you, I have found someone I would die for.   
  
With all of the pain, misery and death that Tom has created, I guess I should be fighting to save the world. I suppose that if this were like the muggle movies, the hero (which I would guess would be me in this case, not that I have a choice) would have a startling revelation that his fight, this fight, was on behalf of all of the innocent victims in the entire world and with his new resolve he would stomp off towards the danger with grim determination. But, I guess real life doesn't work like that. In reality, all that I am trying to save, all that matters to me… is you.   
**_** "He wrote the letter in this exact spot!" Her mind shouted at her. "Less than twenty-four hours ago, he sat here and poured his heart out and you had no idea."   
  
The words from the page flooded her mind. Harry was willing to die to protect her? In a detached sort of way, it was very romantic that Harry would fight and die so she could live. It was like she had her own knight in shining armor. That thought briefly made her feel warm and tingly all over.   
  
But the bucket of cold water fell shortly afterwards when Ginny realized that, because of her, Harry would never see another sunrise. Didn't he realize that she didn't want his misplaced nobility? Did he know how much it hurt her to know that she was the reason he had died? Was it not obvious that she wanted him, needed him to live because she needed her best friend, not bittersweet memories and ill-conceived heroics?   
  
Ginny felt horrible, she had as effectively killed her best friend as the bolt of lightning that struck the ground. The intense grief that consumed her was almost more than she could bear. She didn't deserve that kind of devotion from anyone, let alone a person as great as Harry. It was all-but-impossible to continue reading the letter. Great sobs wracked her body as she wept harder than she had since first year. In spite of that, she somehow managed to finish the last thing Harry would ever write her.   
  
__**** Do you remember that night a year ago? The one where you found me in the commons room all by myself well past midnight? I was at the end of my rope. I had truly lost the desire to continue to fight him. That night Tom almost won, and I think you knew that I needed you. I remember you telling me that you couldn't sleep, and you had come down to work on homework. It was odd that you didn't have any school books with you that night, but I was too far gone to even notice at the time.   
  
Looking back, I know that somehow you knew I needed to talk and you knew it had to be you. I don't know how you remained quiet as I told you all of my fears that night. You sat there patiently as I mourned my parents and Sirius and didn't interrupt me as I told you my concern for your family. In fact, you didn't say a word until I told you the prophecy.   
  
I was so terrified you would leave me after I told you. Each second that you were quiet scared me more. Suddenly out of know where you said, "Well, Harry, I don't know what to tell you. I can't tell you everything will be alright because I just don't know. I can't tell you that the good guy always wins in the end, because you and I both know that sometimes the good guy doesn't. Your fears are well placed. It is very likely that other people close to you will die. In fact, I would be surprised if they didn't. The one thing that you need to realize is this - it is natural to want to protect your friends and loved ones. You are willing to fight to protect those around you. It is rather naïve to think that others wouldn't be as well."   
  
That gentle reproach really stuck with me. It never occurred to me that anyone would want to protect me. I truly never believed that people cared for me until that night.   
  
As we sat in silence for a few minutes, I started to believe that I hadn't mentioned the prophecy. It was almost like if neither of us brought it up, we could pretend that I never said anything. I guess the silence became too much for either of us, because in a rush we both started to talk about it.   
  
I don't remember much of that conversation, but I do remember how it ended. "All I can say is that you will know what 'the power' is when you find it."   
  
When I started writing this letter, I still had no idea what that power was. However, I get it now. It was really quite simple, I had been staring it in the face for years without realizing it. It is time to end this. Tom's reign will be ended once and for all.   
  
Thank you for never giving up on me. I would have been lost without you.   
Harry   
  
** Ginny finished the letter and silently stared into the fireplace for what seemed like endless moments. Lost in her thoughts, the rest of the world fell away. "Harry, I never knew you felt this way about me." Ginny's mind was dimly aware of the fact that she had not spoken her thoughts out loud, just as she knew he wasn't around to hear them, but that didn't stop her from talking to him.   
  
"I don't know how to deal with this, Harry. I will never be able to give you what you gave me. I will never be able to tell you how I feel about you." In her mind she was screaming at her best friend. "You mean more to me than I ever thought possible. Getting to know you has been the best thing I have ever done, and now it is my greatest curse."   
  
Standing up, she began to pace back and forth in front of the fire. Not sure what she was doing and not caring that she was quickly getting out of control, Ginny began to swing her arms wildly around her in her grief. "You could you do this to me!? How could you tell me all of these things and then leave me alone to deal with them?! I trusted you when you said you would always be there for me!" Ginny was losing the last threads of her sanity. "I lost everything today when I lost you! Do you hear me? I… lost… everything…"   
  
She sank defeated to her knees panting heavily and still sobbing uncontrollably. After an eternity, Ginny stopped crying, tilted her head back and stared up at the mantle. That is when she noticed that there was a picture that Colin had taken of her and Harry standing in front of the Hogwarts Express at the beginning of the year. Suddenly, she felt calm again.   
  
Picking up the picture in her shaking hands, she stared at it for several seconds. Just before she put it down, Ginny kissed Harry's picture. "I am sorry, Harry. Thank you for protecting me. I will make sure I am worthy of your sacrifice," she thought.   
  
Staring at the picture a few more moments, an ancient inscription Bill had once read her came, unbidden, to her mind._ aeternum vale amor vale, farewell forever my love farewell. _  
  
With that, Ginny set the picture back on the mantle as a tribute to two fallen heroes and gathered the letter Harry had written her.   
  
Ginny turned around to face the fireplace after gathering the letter and placing it back in the envelope. Again, her eyes landed on Harry's picture. "You know, Harry," she started to speak to the photo above the ashes with a voice heavy with suppressed emotions. "You…" her voice cracked slightly. Clearing her throat she continued, "You never said what the power you had discovered was…" She trailed off as she heard the flutter of fabric behind her.   
  
"Love."   
  
That one word hung in the air, shattering the silence left in Ginny's wake. Ginny's whole body stiffened as she dropped the letter and put both hands to her face._ No, it can't be! I can't take this. I saw what happened! I was there, I know what I saw! _She wanted to turn around but she could not endure being disappointed.   
  
For an endless second she argued with herself before she hesitantly started to turn. No matter how much she wanted to resist spinning around, she couldn't stop herself. Her body trembled under the strain her muscles were undergoing. That was nothing compared to the mental anguish she was experiencing. _Please, don't let this be some cruel joke._   
  
Ginny completed her turn and looked into the very dark corner. Sitting in the chair, covered in shadows sat a person. It was too dark for Ginny to see who it was, but she felt her body tingle in anticipation. Her vision adjusted to the darkness, but it was still impossible to tell who the person was. "Wh-what did you say?" She asked, unable to keep the quiver from her voice.   
  
The person stood up and walked towards her. Still bathed in darkness, the person stopped a few feet in front of her. She could hear breathing and sense a desperate struggle was taking place within the individual in front of her. Abruptly the individual exhaled and took a step forward.   
  
"I said love," he repeated emerging from the darkness and allowing Ginny to see him for the first time. "Specifically," he continued, "my love for you, Ginny Weasley." Harry Potter emerged from the shadows bruised and scarred, but very much alive.   
  
Ginny was stunned. He had survived!_ I knew he would find a way!_ She practically threw herself at Harry, causing them both to fall to the floor. Lying on top of him, his words finally hit her. "Your what?" she asked strongly.   
  
Harry looked her in the eyes and told her what he had wanted to say for ages. "Ginny, I was able to defeat Tom because of you. You taught me what it was like to love someone and be loved in return." Harry took a deep breath before continuing. "I meant what I said in that letter, I was willing to die if necessary to save you. I love you with all of my soul and Tom could not understand it." He placed his hands on her cheeks and slowly rubbed the tears away. "Knowing that I loved you was the key to defeating him. You are my best friend, but you are so much more than that. I need you Ginny, I can't deny it anymore. I am not afraid to admit it anymore. I love you with all that I am. I don't care what I have to face in the future, as long as I can face it with you." Harry finished, still looking into her eyes.   
  
All of her dreams had come true in those thirty seconds. She stared down at her best friend and her eyes sparkled with the true depths of her feelings. "Harry Potter, I love you, too. I promise you, you won't have to face anything without me ever again."   
  
They both seemed to realize that the time for talking was passed. Leaning into each other, they shared the first of countless passionate kisses. When the lack of air became too much for them, they reluctantly broke apart. Harry didn't tell her what had happened between he and Tom and she didn't ask. There would be enough reliving the battle in the days to come, neither wanted to ruin tonight. Tonight was their night, tomorrow would come soon enough.   
  
Each of the two teenagers was too tired to stay awake anymore, but neither one of them wanted to sleep alone. In a burst of inspiration, Harry led Ginny to the couch where they fell asleep in each other's arms. Life had not been kind to the two Gryffindors, but Harry and Ginny both believed that being together was worth the price they had paid.


End file.
